Been There, Done That

NOTE: The image to your right is not intended for the "patient" but for the "shrink."

I, back in the late 70's, seen a couple of shrinks. Actually I was made to go by my parents and other authoritive figures. It was 1976 when I graduated high school and 4 days after my 18th birthday, I married my highschool sweetheart to get out of my house. My significant other was addicted to both drugs and alcohol when I married him and did became a convict due to his heavy drug use.

Our marital problems, needless to say, were overwhelming. It was a life full of both physical and mental abuse and I began drinking daily to escape my reality. I can go on and on and I'm sure one day I'll even write my own story, but thats not what this is about -- its not about me -- its about those shrinks. I was sent to numerous shrinks for what they called my 'problem' -- I was suicidal... needless to say.

I remember one guy specifically used to just sit there and listen to my woes while every few minutes glancing at his watch. Until, we'd be really entwined in something, and he'd say, "ok, im sorry but your time is up" "we'll continue next time". Needless to say, next time never came - New things would happen in my life and it took me the whole 40 minutes to begin to think I could trust him with my life and then "im sorry, your time is up!!"

As years went by and a few suicide attempts the shrinks would always tell me my problem was "my significant other" --- never was it mentioned that being the child of two alcoholics and having two older brothers following the same path, never was it said that maybe I had a drinking problem. I drank on a daily basis just to take the shakes off. Before I even married my significant other, I was drinking. That's what I did. Blackouts, doing things I never remembered and the list goes on.

I went through a couple marriages, continued to drink and seen several shrinks for my depression. Every shrink told me my problem was my 'Significant other' and many of them suggested that my problems would cease if I would get divorce. 'Alcohol, didn't play a part'. In 1997, after myself 'surrendering' to alcohol, I voluntarilly started an outpatient clinic for alcoholics. After years of many shrinks,and even once being in a mental institutions I kept divorcing my significant others. When I myself figured out what my problem was I again, divorced my current significant other. Because again 'he' was the problem. I took pills, slit my wrists and even overdosed on some heart medication of my mother's all because, THEY said, it was my significant other.

After a 2 year divorce from my current husband, I learned that it was not HIM but my alcohol problem and my running from reality. Today, I am remarried to my last 'significant' other and am 9 years sober. I am happy. Sure, we have problems, usually financial, but HE was never the problem, just as the others weren't -- I had to find something inside of myself that was wrong. I am an alcoholic, now grateful and in recovery. I could have saved a lot of time, money, relationships and self esteem if those SHRINKS would have stopped putting the blame on others and knowing that I was drinking on a daily basis to deal with 'my reality', maybe came to the conclusion that it was 'alcohol' afterall being the child of two alcoholics made my statistics even higher.

I'm not seeing a SHRINK today -- afterall, I figured out what they should have figured out long before. Guess all that schooling is worthless if you ask me. I can go to an A.A. meeting to vent today, and they don't charge me for their time listening. Been there, done that.

-- Anonymous